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John Ooi

Jane has passed the retirement age and can retire at any time. However, she has been negotiating, even pleading, with her employer to extend her employment as she does not know what to do after retirement. She is anxious about the future.

Jack retired two years ago. He had looked forward to retirement and initially enjoyed being able to wake up late and doing whatever he wanted, anytime he wanted. Lately, however, he felt a sense of loss as he could not see himself indulging in his favourite pastime everyday – cycling – for the next decade or two.

Does Jane’s or Jack’s story resonate with you or someone you know? What can seniors do to prepare for their golden years?

Singaporeans talk of chasing the ‘five Cs’ in their working years – cash, car, credit card, condominium and country club. In my mind, these need to be replaced with a new set of ‘four Cs’ – care, cognition, connectedness and closure – in later life.

Care

When discussing ageing, some writers use the terms ‘third age’ and ‘fourth age’.

The ‘third age’ refers to the golden years, the stage of life after retirement which can be a time of personal growth, exploration, and the pursuit of new interests and activities, as there is now more time and freedom to engage in the activities of leisure such as hobbies and travel.

The ‘fourth age’ generally refers to the final stage of life – when individuals require significant support and care due to the body’s physical and cognitive decline.

Our needs change as we age, and we must learn to care for ourselves by doing what we can to lengthen the period of our ‘third age’ with, for example, proper nutrition or regular exercise.

We should also leave our estate in good order. This might mean preparing a will or making an advance care plan and a lasting power of attorney so that our loved ones will not be burdened when making decisions in moments of crisis.

Cognition

Cognitive decline is a natural part of ageing. Maintaining a sound mind as we age is essential for our overall well-being and quality of life. We should look for ways to keep our minds stimulated in ways that we enjoy – reading, doing puzzles, exercising, learning a new skill, or playing strategy games.

Pope Francis has said the elderly are a wealth to be treasured. “The previous skills of active life lose their constraint and become resources to be given away: teaching, advising, building, caring, listening… preferably in favour of the most disadvantaged who cannot afford any learning or who are abandoned in their loneliness,” he said during his Catechesis for Old Age on May 11, 2022.

The elderly have much to offer to the Church today, especially regarding life experience and advice. When the old teach the young, their own ability to retain information and understanding improves.

Connectedness

The elderly have the power to share hope and dreams, said the Pope on June 27, 2017, at his 25th-anniversary episcopal ordination Mass.

Anna had waited in the Temple for the Messiah all her life. When she encountered Him at His Presentation, “Anna went about saying: It is He! It is He!’ (Luke 2:36-38), as she recounted the dream of her life,” said the Pope. “And this is what the Lord asks of us [elderly] today…To transmit this vitality to young people because young people expect it from us; not to withdraw, to give our best: they are waiting for our experience, for our positive dreams to carry out the prophecy and the work!”

It is understandable that as one ages, one tends to become more reclusive for reasons such as embarrassment at one’s increasing forgetfulness. However, we should heed the advice of our Holy Father and stay connected with our youth, grandchildren, and even adult children, to offer them our loving concern and support.

Closure

Through life, we will experience hurt, anger, and broken relationships. These tend to be more painful the closer the relationship. Will we be able to go peacefully when God calls us back to Him? Or will we meet Him carrying the burden of unforgiveness or unresolved anger?

Workers in hospices say what greatly helps persons close to death is ‘existential peace’ – a state of inner tranquillity and contentment that stems from having come to terms with how one’s life had turned out.

We may have been too busy in our working years and, in the process, neglected our relationship with God. If so, old age provides us the opportunity for a fresh start to deepen our relationship with our Creator through prayer or the Sacraments. In our remaining time, we must strive to bring closure to outstanding and unresolved issues, especially in relationships.

“The best of life is yet to come,” said Pope Francis, concluding his Catechesis on Old Age on Aug 24, 2022. “Let us hope, let us hope for this fullness of life that awaits us all, when the Lord calls us.”

John Ooi, a parishioner of the Church of the Holy Spirit, has been married for 38 years and is a father to six adult children. He facilitates the Catholic Family Life’s workshop Making Your Olden Years Turn Golden.