Does your child belong to you or to God?
That was the question asked by Andrew Soong, a behavioural analyst, to nearly 20 parents gathered at Church of the Immaculate Heart of Mary last month. There was a noticeable shift in the room, as a flurry of answers came from all directions.
“My children belong to me!” exclaimed one parent.
“I think 50 – 50. 50% belongs to me, the other 50% belongs to God,” chimed in another.
The parents who gathered for the talk on 5 Tips to Successfully Motivate Your Child which was led by Soong, were visibly buzzing as they continued to voice out answers they believed were correct.
Calming the room, Soong revealed that as children of God, we belonged to Him, and likewise the same applied to our children.
“Our children don’t belong to us; they belong to God. We are stewards that care for them,” he said as he explained how Mary and Joseph were similarly stewards to Jesus.
Soong then shared his early struggles as a father and how it was a contrasting difference from the ideal model set by the Holy Family. His lack in understanding his children coupled with an authoritarian approach to parenting negatively affected his relationship with his two sons.
"I had no patience, and when I got angry, they got it from me,” he said, sharing examples of his authoritarian parenting style of the past.
Soong said that parents who enforce rules and regulations without having a good relationship, will result in children resenting and rebelling against them. However, if the rules and regulations are coupled with a healthy relationship, it results in the child respecting, rejoicing, and returning to them in the future.
The relationship between parent and child is ultimately the key to motivating children successfully. Although easier said than done, Soong encouraged parents to take it a step at a time and start with the exercises and tips he gave to build the relationship with their children. If you missed out on this talk, Catholic Family Life has more upcoming talks that will help build a positive relationship between you and your child.
Check out the upcoming talks here:
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