Many of us want our relationship with our significant other to be positive and flourishing. This however, is not an entitlement. It is an intentional choice that requires continuous work.

Adrian and JenniferSource: 1969 The Flintstones Original Comic Strip Daily Illustration Art FRED WILMA KISS

Do you think that Fred and Wilma’s marriage is a flourishing one?

One of the tips that the participants learnt was that appreciation builds a reserve of good sentiments (deposits) in each other’s love bank. Winifred Ling, a therapist who specialises in couple relationships and positive psychology, shared this tip with more than 45 participants who attended the talk on Positive & Flourishing Relationships held at Church of the Holy Spirit recently.

Cultivating a mutual positive perspective through fostering appreciation helps to buffer the couple’s relationship from the stress from demands at work and family, and other negative factors such as marital distractions, neglect of each other’s needs, etc. According to Winifred, this should be the goal for couples.

Winifred also acknowledged that it is impossible for couples not to have conflict in their relationships. As a Gottman-trained couple relationship therapist, she shared some strategies with the participants on how to resolve conflict in a positive way while cultivating a relationship that truly flourishes.

Geraldine Wee and Alan Johnson, a couple who had been married for more than 10 years, were inspired by the speaker’s candid and warm disposition. “The content was refreshing and some of it provided us with a new perspective of looking at our relationship, especially the interesting tips on conflict regulation and what may be perpetual problems. This is so true when we tend to believe that everything can be fixed. The talk helped open doors for loving and open conversations. We look forward to attending an extended talk on this topic!”

Both Adrian and Jennifer described couple relationships as “like a garden that thrives with attention and care, relationships bloom when we continuously learn and apply new approaches to nurture our love for each other.”

Encouraged by the turnout, Mark Lim and Janice Say from the Family Life Ministry that organised this talk jointly with Catholic Family Life said, “It was wonderful to see couples in courtship, the newly married, those married for many years and even couples in the golden years coming together to find ways that allow our relationship to flourish. We learnt how positivity can come about with our words and actions. It was indeed an enjoyable evening of relationship building.”

If you have missed this heart-warming couple relationship talk, fret not. More such programmes are being organised in parishes. Do check out the upcoming events at Catholic Family Life’s website.

Should you wish to organise similar talks to benefit people in your parish or organisations, please contact us at cfl@familylife.sg.