Are you really listening to your child

Are you really listening

to your child/teen?

Image credit: #CalvinandHobbes – Mom is on selective listening mode

We all listen, albeit selectively at times.

Listening is an important skill that helps you connect with your child/teen, especially when they are stressed or anxious. Deep listening to our children/teens requires parents to set aside time to listen and be mindful of the child/teenager, being at the same eye level as the child/teen, listening without interrupting, acknowledging his/her feelings and encouraging him to share openly without judgement or criticism. According to Dr Tan E-Ching, the speaker for Helping Your Children Cope with Stress & Anxiety, a talk held at Church of St Vincent de Paul, there is a rising trend of children and teens with stress-related and anxiety issues. The causes are usually academic-related, but also include relationships, bullying, changes within the family, effects of the pandemic, etc.

What can parents do?

As parents, we all have a natural tendency to help our children/teens. We are also ever ready to offer solutions. Dr Tan said, “One of the things that parents can do to help children or teens who are stressed and anxious is to listen deeply without interrupting, judging, criticizing or even offering solution.”

Image credit: #CalvinandHobbes – Let’s hear you say you love me

It is important “to give them the space and time to work out the issues on their own because being able to resolve issues on their own helps them to increase their sense of self-worth,” said Dr Tan. It is also important for parents to acknowledge feelings instead of brushing over them. A simple acknowledgement can help soothe the anxieties of what the child or teen is going through. These were some of the simple tips that Dr Tan shared with the participants at the talk.

She also shared some resources on mindfulness, all of which will be sent to those who had attended the talk. Being mindful of what our children/teens are telling us verbally and non-verbally can go a long way to help us connect and understand their situation better. The session was helpful as parents got to ask some related questions that were specific to their personal home situation.