“Based on statistics, Singapore has the highest average screen time – with children spending over 35 hours per week on entertainment. With higher screentime and easy internet access, exposure to pornography will naturally increase too!” said Benedict Lim, at the “Monster in Every Room” talk held online on 14 September 2023.
 

Parents streamed in from all over the island, with some even logging in from overseas. Benedict, a psychologist by profession shared how pornography has become the monster not only in every room, but in every pocket.
 

“Gone are the days when you could deter this from happening by keeping the computer in a public space at home. Instead, the computer is now in your hand – the mobile phone,” he said.
 

Benedict shared that pornography begins unsolicited; pop ups accounting for 34% of the first exposure. He said that 25% of daily internet searches were for pornography and 1 in 3 users who accessed pornography were female.
 

“51% of males first watched pornography before they even turned 13 years old,” he said.

Some of the parents commented that they found it disturbing and even disgusting that something like this was happening so regularly.

In Singapore, Benedict said that 9 in 10 teenage boys were exposed to pornography with 88% of them accessing it through mobile devices, and 48% of which were from upper primary.

“What is quite disturbing is that 12% of children aged 8- to 12-year-olds who chatted with strangers online, actually met them in real life,” he said.

Is Pornography Normal? 

“The scary thing about pornography is it tends to normalise varying forms of sexual expression that were normally not be socially acceptable,” he said.

Some examples Benedict gave that related this normalisation were varying forms of sexual expressions from wife sharing cases in Singapore to paedophile cases.

“On top of it being disrespectful, pornography is also a culprit that encourages more liberal sexual attitudes which may lead to potential criminal behaviour, like the upskirt crimes,” he said.

How does pornography become an addiction?

Benedict shared that engaging in activity usually begins with curiosity, boredom and / or stimulation.

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If not carefully handled, unhealthy habits can form into a lack of control and compulsion which leads the individual to lose control of their choices which forms addiction.  

Ways to Tackle the Monster Through L.O.V.E. 

Benedict shared that it is through the following steps that parents can help protect their children from the “monster.” 

L: Limit Exposure 

O: Offer Your Time (Presence) 

V: Value Connection (Intimacy) 

E: Exploit Tools  

He went on to explain each step providing valuable insight to how parents can use these methods to help their children battle the infiltration of pornography. 

Monster In Every Room aims to help parents understand why pornography is so attractive and how it cripples our children. From there, parents will learn the practical tips to tackle this insidious addiction. 

Check out the upcoming events and programmes at Catholic Family Life’s website.

Should you wish to organise similar talks to benefit people in your parish or organisations, please contact us at cfl@familylife.sg.