17 September 2024

Papa Francis’ recent visit to Singapore has definitely warmed the hearts of many. In his speech at NUS, he commended efforts by various institutions to promote, protect and support family unity. A strong and healthy family must be built on a strong and healthy marriage. While marriage is often seen as a path to "happily ever after," the reality is that it requires sacrifice and commitment. St. John Paul II emphasised the profound significance of marriage, highlighting spouses as witnesses to the sacrificial love of Christ. St. John Paul II reminds us that "Spouses are therefore the permanent reminder to the Church of what happened on the Cross; they are for one another and for the children witnesses to the salvation in which the sacrament makes them sharers." (Familiaris Consortio, Section 13). Yet, amidst the sacrifices we make, there is much to rejoice about!

In 2021, during the special year of the family Pope Francis wrote a letter to married couples and families. These are 5 main takeaways from the Pope’s letter to married couples. 

1. Set Out!
 

In Genesis 12:1, we read the story of Abraham’s call to set out from his land towards a foreign place that God himself would show. Similarly, with this same imagery, Pope Francis draws a parallel to the call of all husbands and wives, to “set out” from their own lands of comfort and familiarity and give themselves to each other unreservedly. 

The truth is, marriage is a call to die to ourselves. Unfulfilled expectations, disappointments, and unmet needs are just the few common struggles that any other married person has.

Yet, these difficulties present opportunities for couples to renew their commitment to each other. As couples navigate through the trials of marriage—whether it's the arrival of children, career pressures, or health issues—they are challenged to leave behind familiar habits, certainties and securities. This journey, as described by the Pope, calls for a willingness to embrace the unknown together, trusting in the promise of unity in Christ Jesus.

2. Children are always a Gift

Our Children are thirsting for love, gratitude, esteem and trust. We are all familiar with the saying “monkey see monkey do” and this cannot be more true than in the context of family. In the family environment, children watch their parents attentively; “they seek the signs of a strong and reliable love” as affirmed by Pope Francis. The Holy Father reminds us that parenthood is a call to pass on the joy of being a child of God! It is crucial for children to understand and believe in their identity as God’s beloved. The role of parents, as the Pope says, is to “accompany the growth process, to be present to children in many different ways, to help them realise that they can always count on their parents.” That’s exactly what it means to educate them, being present to our children, being involved in their lives and engaging in their growth. As St. Francis of Assisi says, 'Preach the gospel at all times. And if necessary, use words.'

3. Building a “culture of encounter”

The laity has a vital role to play in the building of the church today. The Pope urges the laity (especially married couples) to take the lead in their community through initiatives and creatives. I often wonder, who better to mentor, guide and help in the pastoral care of family life than families themselves? In his apostolic letter (Fratelli Tutti), the Holy Father mentions that we “should be passionate about meeting others, seeking points of contact, building bridges, planning a project that includes everyone”. In this way, our encounters with other married couples and families build a sense of belonging to the parish, stirring Faith and inspiring Hope! Families are therefore called to “bridge generations in passing on the values that forge true humanity.”

4. Building a house on rock

What is your house built on? Who is your home built with?

By virtue of the sacrament of Matrimony, we Catholics are blessed to have Jesus present in our marriages, families and homes. “Me” becomes “We” in a loving communion with our Lord, for  better or for worse, for rich and for poor. The Pope reminds us that Christ is alive, present at every moment of our existence. He is at our side and loves us unconditionally. 

This powerful reminder encourages us to carry on even in the struggle and sorrows of marriage and family life. How beautiful to be able to approach the throne of Grace, the Pope says to “kneel together before Jesus in the Eucharist, in order to find a few moments of peace and to look at each other with tenderness and goodness”.The truth is, it is only when we acknowledge that our human love is weak and in need of something greater, then we are able to draw strength from God’s faithful love. With the Lord, we can build our house on rock and be sustained by Him!

5. Creative Courage

The last take away from his letter is targeted at young people who are preparing for marriage. In a world shaped by uncertainty and instability, it is definitely not easy for young people to embark on marriage and build a family. Pope Francis exhorts young people to have “creative courage”. We learn this from St. Joseph who models the way in trusting God’s providence! Let us not be shaken but stand firm in God’s plan, knowing that even in the difficult times, we can find resources we did not even think we had (Patris Corde, 5).

Enthusiasm - The ingredient to living a life with Joy! According to the Holy Father, we should not permit our faces to grow sad or gloomy because our partner needs our smiles!Our children need our looks of encouragement. Our priests and other families need our presence and our joy: the joy that comes from the Lord!”. 

Drawing inspiration from the five points highlighted in Pope Francis' letter, let us walk forward in faith, trusting that God who brought us together will continue to hold us in His love. May we grow in greater courage to embrace the mission that we have as married couples.

Let us pray:

*This prayer was taken from USCCB (https://www.usccb.org/prayers/prayer-married-couples)

O God, who in creating the human race

willed that man and wife should be one,

keep, we pray, in a bond of inseparable love

those who are united in the covenant of Marriage,

so that, as you make their love fruitful,

they may become, by your grace, witnesses to charity itself.

Through Christ our Lord

Amen.