As parents, we are our children’s first educators. It therefore comes as no surprise that this challenging, yet meaningful task of forming their values, beliefs and attitudes falls squarely on our shoulders. At times, this process of formation necessitates having difficult, and sometimes contentious conversations. Topics for these conversations vary widely – finances, sexuality, life choices, media use, school matters – the list may sometimes feel never-ending. 

While they may seem unpleasant at first, these conversations can actually go a long way in helping us build our relationship with our children. Just as a durable and battle-ready sword is forged in a weaponsmith’s fire, a firm and resilient relationship between parents and children can likewise be forged through these regular, yet sometimes difficult conversations.  

With such a heavy responsibility resting on us, it is crucial that parents rely on and support one another in these conversations, presenting a unified, yet open and honest front to their children. If you’re wondering how you can work closer with your spouse in having these conversations, read on as we share with you 3 tips you can begin to integrate into your parenting today.  

TIP 1: Understand each other’s expectations and agree on the ones to share with your children 

Discuss openly to ensure you are both on the same page on topics such as: 

• Important values to impart 

• Family values on topics such as dating, premarital sex, contraceptives 

• Areas where boundaries ought to be set 

This ensures that your child gets the same guidance and information from both of you, mitigating confusion. 

 
TIP 2: Prepare for conversations together  

Together with your spouse, think about and discuss possible topics or questions your child may have before entering a conversation. You may even elicit the help of your close friends! 

This lets you search up the correct information beforehand, and gives you the opportunity to ensure both of you are on the same page (refer to Tip 1). This would help you be more confident during the actual discussion with your child.

This would also help if your child only has the conversation with only one of you due to comfort. Discussing beforehand will mean what either you speak will be consistent between the both of you. 

 
TIP 3: Create time to have a family discussion about it 

Be intentional! Set aside time where both you and your spouse will be able to sit down with your children to have a discussion as a family. This lets them know that both of you wish to be involved in this conversation and that you will be there for him/her if they have any questions whatsoever.  

Much like parenting on the whole, having such discussions may seem like a tall order. That being said, always remember that you are not alone – you have each other, and us at CFL! If you would like to learn more about key topics to better form and empower your child as they progress through life, check out our upcoming programmes here: Upcoming (familylife.sg). 

References: 

Information for this entry is a consolidation of input from: 

• Knowledge shared by Karen Chok, Therapist at Catholic Family Life 

• Health Promotion Board. Talking To Your Children About Sexuality: A guide for parents. Retrieved from https://www.healthhub.sg/sites/assets/Assets/PDFs/HPB/Sexual Health/Guide-for-Parents.pdf